Matagal na rin since last entry ko dito.
Wala kasi akong ganang mag-blog… Walang creative juices na dumadaloy sa ugat ko, ika nga ni neri,
Walang ka-libog libog sa pagsusulat.

Marami na rin happenings and misadventures ang nangyari since last entry ko. Pero parang last night yata ang reason kung bakit nag-entry na uli ako. Nabasa ko kasi yung blog ng isang kaibigan kong Becky (term sa mga bading) na in-love daw sya sa isang lalaking nakilala nya sa vacation nya sa island of kabaklaan o mas kilala sa tawag na Puerto Galera.
Hindi naman nakakagulat dahil ang friend ko na to deserves to be happy after every thing he did for his past relationships. Pero eto ngayon si becky ka-text ko, parang naguluhan na daw sya. Parang hindi na nya love yung guy from the island. Bumalik daw kasi ang isang X nya from states at eto daw yung pinaka-minahal nya sa lahat ng X’s nya. As of the moment, si becky parang may fire-drill at mabilis pa kay flash sa pagtakbo papuntang Bi-noma (trinoma po ito).
That makes me wonder, what’s the line between relationship at tawag ng laman???

As of the moment, im single (ooops! dami magrereact! Oo single ulet) and trying to find my way to the arms of the right person, pero andami pa rin mishaps along the way, may nasaktan nanaman akong feelings at napaglaruang emotions, but what can I do, tao lang ako. Like last vacation I had, may umiyak nanaman because of what I did. Itago natin sya sa pangalang BIN LADEN.
From the start we have this “thing” between me and him pero I told him that I wasn’t ready to have a serious relationship. Don’t get me wrong, he is a good guy, pero wala sa kanya yung trait na hinahanap ko. The “thing” we had is like a pseudo-relationship pero hindi sa ganung context..(labo bah?) so punta kami ng vacation thinking na we are ok na ganun…(keep in mind na mga 2 weeks na kami hindi nagkikita ni bin prior sa vacation)… Eh masama bang lumandi with another person na parang angel na walang pakpak at para kang inaakyat sa langit pag tinititigan ka? (hindi ako naka-drugs, libog ang term dun sa na-feel ko). Eh wala naman kaming relationship nung guy na yun kaya what i did eh nag-enjoy ako sa pagiging single ko and to defend myself I made it clear sa guy na yun na we are just friends (oo na! friends lang) Pero still nagkaron sya ng emotional attachment sakin.
Ooops wag magtaas ng kilay,
Alam ko naman na kasalanan ko nanaman ang nangyari
but still I’ve pushed something beyond my control. Kaya ending talk-of the-town ang drama ng lola nyo.
Now im back here in my chair, contemplating on what really happened.

Is it just our defense mechanism to believe that its just lust that we feel for certain people that we knew that things wont work out? Maybe yes.
But for me, certain sacrifices must be done in order for us to have what we really want, even by the expense of other people’s emotions.

Taray no?